Wednesday, August 5, 2009
The Journey of Faith
Wednesday night's message from Pastor was about miracles. I just wanted to give my testimony of a miracle God gave our family. Enjoy!
The Journey of Faith
The night of April 15th, 2007 is the beginning of my experience of a lifetime. I had no idea that God was about to take my family and I on the ultimate faith journey. Never in my wildest dreams did I think that God would go to such extremes to prove that He is Lord, that He is in control, and actively involved in my life and my family.
On December 3, 2006 we rejoiced at the news that we were pregnant with our second child. Because of a previous weight loss surgery, eating was difficult. I had not been able to eat properly for about 6 months, thus the baby was not receiving the proper nourishment. On April 15 2007 what seemed to be a normal Sunday suddenly changed. After church we all went to eat at La Madeline’s Restaurant. As I was sitting there it hit me, I am 61/2 month pregnant and I had not felt the baby move in 3 days. My pastor’s wife asked me how I was feeling. She could see that I could not even sit up in the chair I was sitting in. Terri, a very close friend, along with Sis. Martinez gave me direction to go and make sure that the baby and I were ok. Terri offered to take me to the Labor & Delivery Triage.
We arrived at the Triage area around 9:30pm. The attending nurse began asking questions and started the process to completely check me out. I began to tell her we had just been to church and that I was not feeling well. I told her that I was dehydrated and was feeling very weak. They all know me there as I had been put in the hospital several times prior. In the process they checked the baby’s heartbeat. After about 30 minutes I asked her, “Are you having trouble finding the heart beat?” She got this horrible look on her face and said, “I’m sorry but I cannot find it anywhere.” I instantly started screaming NO!!! That is when my friend said, “Jenna, don’t think like that.”
In that moment I started saying, “Lord, you did not give me this baby to take him away!” On the outside I was screaming but on the inside I was saying “Lord I still trust you”. The nurse told us she would have to call the doctor in to confirm that there was no heart beat. The nurse called the Doctor in to come and access the situation. The Doctor did a sonogram and found no movement and no heartbeat. Mason Alexzander Davis was pronounced dead at 10:15pm. At that time the staff started preparing me to have a still birth. I was wheeled into another room with a white rose on the door.
By this time, family and friends were arriving by my side and began praying.
The prayer chain was activated. My pastor and Bro. Freelen prayed. I can tell you I did not feel anything but hurt, rage, anger and loneliness. I remember asking, “Why? Why is God so quiet? Why can I not feel him?” The bible talks about faith of a grain of a mustard seed. Well I now know what that verse means. If I had any faith it was of a grain of mustard. The staff had placed that white rose on the door letting visitors and workers know that the baby had passed away. When I saw that rose on my door I felt such a rage in me. I stared yelling get it off get it off. The rose seemed so final. See the little mustard seed of faith that I had, did not want that rose on the door.
By this time my husband was on his way to the hospital. He was at work and my friend had to call him to let him know of his son passing away. All the way to the hospital, my husband prayed God you are in control. Lord, have your way.
The Doctor and staff waited until my husband got to the hospital to explain the situation and the next step in the process. The next step was to proceed like we were having a healthy baby. The staff gave me an epidural and gave me medicine to induce labor. It was 12:15am at this time. While in this process a social worker came in and met with my husband to set up a time to talk about an autopsy and funeral arrangements. I had been telling the staff and my family that I feel the baby moving why do I FEEL HIM MOVING? They responded with, That is normal for the baby’s body to shake when you have contraction or when you move around. The staff made us aware of the birthing process. Once we have the baby, they would take it away. Then they would bring the baby back for us to spend time with him, before they take him away forever.
During this whirlwind my husband and I had a moment to ourselves We talked about how this must be God’s will and we had faith that God was in control even though it was the hardest thing we have ever been through. I looked at my husband and said Babe, why do I feel the baby move? Why did God take my baby? Why is God so silent? My husband reminded me, “Jenn, God is still in control” Josh decided that he was going to ask for another sonogram. He wanted to see for himself what was going on.
The Doctor didn’t understand what another sonogram would prove, but that he would honor our request. It was 2:20am when the Doctor rolled the sonogram machine into the room. I was lying on the bed with a pillow over my face because I didn’t want to see it again. My husband was standing on my left and the Doctor was sitting on my right. The Doctor adjusted the sonogram wand and there the heart chamber was on the screen, no heart beat and still no movement. My husband asked if that is what we were talking about. The Doctor then pointed and counted the 4 chambers of the heart. The heart was not beating. The Doctor pulled the wand away to get a better view of the heart. As he pulled it away my husband saw the baby’s left leg jump. My niece Rachel saw it as well. When the Doctor readjusted the wand and the heart chamber came into view on the screen again the heart was beating. About 30 seconds had passed between the Doctors readjusting the sonogram wand. Everyone in the room was in shock and speechless; the nurse acted fast and started removing the labor medicines. You see I was given the epidural and labor meds about two ½ hours earlier. When the nurse removed the labor meds she could not believe what she saw. The labor medicine had never dissolved! It had been there for over two hours. That was a miracle in itself. I heard all of the noise and movement and was thinking that the baby was being delivered. Then I heard he’s alive he’s alive!!! So they placed the heart monitor on me and instantly the heart beat was there. It started at 119 and went to126 then climbed to 176 before it leveled out and became steady. The Doctor couldn’t say anything but that it was a miracle. The same nurse came into the room that could not find the heart beat with the same Doppler. She found the heart beat right away. She said I have heard of a god and of miracles but now, I know there is a God. You see even though I did not feel God and yes he was so silent, He was still there and still in control.
We had a healthy Mason Alexzander Davis on July 29th, 2007 at 1:45pm. He was 6 pounds and 17 ½ inches long. We celebrated Mason’s second birthday last week on Tu Wednesday July 29th.
My family is living proof that God is in control and is actively involved in our everyday lives. My faith today a year later is stronger and more unshakeable than ever that we serve a miracle working God.
For this child I prayed, and the Lord hath given me my petition which I asked of him:
Therefore also I have lent him to the Lord;
as long as he liveth he shall be lent to the Lord. And he worshipped the Lord there.
1 Samuel 1:27 & 28